Impact-Driven
Results you can see (and clean up afterward)
collaborative excellence
Cross-functional collaboration: me, the cat and gravity
Innovation First
Pioneering new methods in object displacement and gravity defiance
accountability
I take full responsibility for absolutely nothing
senior Disruption Specialist
Slightly Bigger House Rental 2025 - Present
/ Expanded operations to multi-room chaos coordination
// Implemented advanced water displacement protocols
/// Managed increased curtain and glassware portfolio
junior Disruption Specialist
Tiny House Rental 2022 - 2025
/ Pioneered foundational household mystery techniques
// Established core competencies in object relocation
/// Developed signature "who did this?" methodologies
freelance office zullum
Corporate House Situation 2022 - 2025½
/ Specialised in cutlery redistribution & Wacom pencil relocation
// Food inventory management (reduction specialist)
/// Cross-departmental confusion consulting
